Sunday, August 03, 2008
IMPACT

I go thru my life trying to maximize positives and try to avoid putting myself in situations that will lead to impacting anyone negatively. Sometimes though, events occur that unfortunately develop into precisely the opposite of what you wish.
Friday afternoon I went to have lunch at Rouses Market where I usually eat. The rain was teeming and the humidity was New Orleans nasty so when I returned to my car, the windows were, for some reason, completely fogged up. I wiped them down enough so I could see and proceeded to return to work. I missed a portion of the front windshield on the passenger side and as I crossed the 4 lanes of Carrollton Ave., a car which was passing in front of me was blocked by the steamed window and me, not even seeing the vehicle, ended up tapping the back of it causing it to careen off the street and onto the median strip which has a curb about 10 inches high.
The impact of the car contacting the curb caused the back wheel to bend in an ugly form - as if it had a broken foot. I got out of my car, which sustained no damage and proceeded to the median, or as they refer to them here, the neutral ground. When no-one came out of the car for a couple of minutes I began to worry that they were unconscious so I gingerly knocked on the window and about 30 seconds later, a young girl, about 23-25 opened the window. She seemed physically fine, her seatbelt still fastened but with tears streaming down her face, obviously shaken emotionally.
After she was able to sort of compose herself, we went thru the details of what had happened and then proceeded with the boring process of waiting for the police and tow trucks and the insurance company, ad nauseum. In the process, her fiance, who drove a cab, stopped by, and though the initial atmosphere was a bit tense, after 2 hours of waiting around, we began to talk more freely and I found out they had a 3 month old baby and were anxious to move to a quiet place in Alabama so they could raise their baby in a non-threatening environment away from the city. She had been on her way to work and you could see that they were a kind and caring couple who were trying to do what they could to make life tolerable and/or better.
Well, after 3 hours, the police finally arrived and began their procedures. The camaraderie that had developed despite the circumstances, was soon to take a bad turn. The police ran a profile on the fiancee (since he owned the vehicle), and much to his remonstrations, they came up with 2 outstanding warrants, and hancuffed him and placed him under arrest. As if that weren't bad enough, they then turned to the young mother, and told her she was under arrest for not having insurance and a license, and hancuffed her too. (I was frantically searching my mind to make sure I hadnt left any stone unturned, expecting to be arrested too - it seemed the world was turning upside down for everyone involved. But fortunately, I was OK) As brave as she was attempting to be, I could see the tears welling in her eyes and the mortification of being being dealt with as such in full public view.
I was affected profoundly. Here were two people I had been communicating with and with whom I'd been in the process of dealing with on a human level - joking and relating in spite of the circumstances. And now, as a result of a moment of cruel fate, I had created an impact on their lives which was proving to be the exact opposite of how I try to deal with people and to lead my life. Sure, they didnt have insurance, which is illegal, but I was the person whose presence in their lives had ultimately created the turmoil in which they were now inextricably connected.
As much as I would have liked to have had the one second back in which she would have passed by safely, there was no reversing the reality of what had occurred.
Having seen tragic events unfold throughout my years, its always affected me to see how the preciousness of people's lives can be so inalterably affected by a an errant second of fate. But to be the person who was responsible for it, provides a good deal of food for thought. What's the lesson I need to take from this? What can I do to prevent this from occuring again - not neccessarily in the same circumstances - but in general? Or is this a glimpse into the yin/yang of good things/bad things happening? It's like the concept of God taking care of the fishes in the sea. In the feeding of one fish, another fish must be eaten....
Comments:
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This is a classic case of karma. She shouldn't have been driving without a license (and she knew it), he shouldn't have had the two outstanding warrants. They, not you, were the central characters in this story. Whether they learn from it to improve their lives in future is their own personal burden.
You're right, responsibility for their action (or inaction) is undeniable, but the feeling that struck me was that I was responsible for actually setting into motion what could be construed as the return swing of the karmic hammer. If I hadnt been there, then karma, or accountability would not have neccessarily come visiting them that day, or maybe ever.
I can understand the feeling that you were the one responsible for bringing about some pretty rough problems for the couple. I wouldn't want to cause that in another person's life either. But, on the other hand, perhaps this was an instance of "less harm". Allow for the possibility that because of the incident and the ensuing results that somebody else (even the couple and child) have ultimately been protected from something that could have been far worse. Perhaps a severe accident, involving injury or worse!!
This incident is nothing that the couple can't overcome. They will learn from it and be better off because of it. So try to think of yourself as the catalyst for their overall improvement. That's the way that I choose to view it!
Love ya!
This incident is nothing that the couple can't overcome. They will learn from it and be better off because of it. So try to think of yourself as the catalyst for their overall improvement. That's the way that I choose to view it!
Love ya!
thanks ms labelle - hopefully it'll be an instrument for something positive and they wont end up losing their jobs. Or that he ends up robbing a store to pay for the car repairs and fines, and going to jail, and she's then forced into sellin her body on the street becoming a crack ho. Then when he returns from prison to see his wife and baby's lives destroyed he commits double murder/suicide.
Yeah I'm feelin better now LOL
Yeah I'm feelin better now LOL
Come on boo...double murder/suicide??? I can see the selling her body/crack ho stuff for certain, but chances are it would only end up as a suicide with the double murder never even happening!! So there!! LOL!!
Seriously, they will be fine. Their world will not stop turning because of this!! It's just a blip on the radar of their lives. So just relax and enjoy Sunday, would ya?
kiss
Seriously, they will be fine. Their world will not stop turning because of this!! It's just a blip on the radar of their lives. So just relax and enjoy Sunday, would ya?
kiss
Great idea!! Although I've heard it said that priests have an awful lot of restrictions in their lives...know what I mean?? Might want to reconsider!! Just a thought!
By the way, you mentioned their car running up onto the "median" in your post. Come on boo...you know that down here in NOLA they are called "NEUTRAL GROUNDS". If you're gonna live here, ya HAVE to get the vocab right!! Love ya!
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