Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Shrink Rap
Hey, ya bored?
Apparently, some people are.
I never realized until today just how bored they are.
Let's face it, people want to be entertained almost constantly - TV, friends, sports, drinking, love and romance (aka sex), travel, etc, etc...
Well, what if you've tired of all the fruits of joy? What if you've done it all, seen it all, been everywhere, know everything?
I heard a song today and the guy was singing "you caint do nuttin fer me aint been done by someone for me before"
This guy is definitely bored. Boring too, I'd say. But let's not get personal.
And then today I came across a gizmo to help this bored individual, as well as all those poor over-satiated, over-indulged, jaded folks hanging around with frowns on their faces.
The picture above is of what appeared to be initially, a remote.
But AHHH, upon closer scrutiny, a particularly perspicacious plumber, Rich Majewski, found the answer to so many peoples' prayers. As he studied the remote's functions, one specific button caught his attention. The picture below basically says all you need to hear, see, touch, taste, or smell:
Second button down on the right is screamin for a squeeeeze - go 'head, try it.
So now all you need is to push a button and fun rains down on you - parades begin in your honor, dignitaries invite you to dinner, superstars are IM'ing you, policemen protect you, you can actually DANCE! not that disjointed 'Elaine-dance' you've been offending friends and family with at weddings and circumcisions - hmmm, maybe that was confirmation - I cant remember. But damn, you sho nuff boogeyin' now.
Wow, fun. Who'd have thought it could be so easy??!?!? And so cheap?? - just the cost of a remote....
Ha! Not so hasty my little tasty pudding pop. Unfortunately that remote is connected to one little requirement - you must be "successful". How else ya gonna be able to AFFORD that $6,500 pricetag attached to it?
DAMN! so close. You should know by now that happiness isnt cheap. Happiness requires unwavering purpose, intensity, unrelenting tenacity, sacrifice, wisdom fortitude, knowledge, piety, (hmmmm, its beginning to sound verrrry Catholic) but the list continues for about 2 or 3 more paragraphs....
So all is lost, eh?
Nahhhh.
Fun fortunately is right there on the end of your fingertips. All ya gotta do is lighten the fuck up - dont be so up tight - keep it simple - chiiilllll - mellow down easy. Well that's no easy matter either bucko. One of the hardest things to do is to Keep It Simple Stupid (KISS) It takes years of understanding the universe to get to that zen spot that'll take you out of that state of compulsion - the compulsion to be successful, or yes, even to be enlightened.
Cause one day you wake up and you say to yourself - fuck this crap, I'm just gonna have fun and thats when you realize you dont need no stinkin "fun gun" - the damn "fun" was in you, fucking with you right from the beginning.
So chuck the remote and go kiss your dog or kick 'im if you're wierd and thats what kinda kicks it takes to get you off - ya goddam wierdo! YOU need a shrink!!!
Love and kisses
