Monday, January 16, 2006
Oh My Gawwd, You're So Sennnsitiiive!
It isn't amusing to see people rationalizing mean-ness or cruelty with the "yer so sensitive" response.
You see that crap a lot in grade school.
"I didnt think she'd cry - what a baby" or:
"Why'd he have to go and bleed?!?!? I though he could take it" and:
"Why donthcu just get over it maaaan??"
Nahh, you couldnt pay me to be a kid again. I mean I was pretty much left alone by the real punks. Occasionally someone in a higher grade just has it out for you and you're at their mercy - but that's how you develop a sense of humor - and a sense of survival.
But when you get older, you figure you should be more immune to it. And just when you think you're safe, you get blindsided by someone you'd never suspect of being a bully.
I've always felt that it takes a bigger man to not:
1. kiss somebody's ass who's bigger than you are, or
2. make somebody who's smaller than you feel even smaller.
So in dealing with everyone I try to give 'em the respect they deserve. (I'll give them the benefit of the doubt at first, but only until it's shown they dont deserve it) I always felt that it would be a lesson that would be carried on. But I'm wondering about that now - seems that some people only appreciate respect if they have to grapple for it like a man under water for air.
I remember watching Miss America or some such show with my wife Di and she mentioned something about how the contestant's dress was inappropriate for her weight. Now the contestant was 200 miles away and I'm sure was totally non-cognizant of the comment. Well, someone else watching the show reacted is if the comment had been made directly to them - which it hadnt. So, in the interests of "sensitivity" I played down the remark to minimize the psychological scarring which was certainly to ensue if I werent to convene. I might have been wrong.
I think I shoulda just said: Oh My Gawwd, You're So Sennnsitiiive!
What's wrong with YOU? - she's just too heavy for the dress."
And now the lesson hoped for is the lesson lost, and the chance to create more sensitivity through childish, callous, forthrightness was lost thru an expression of respect which was never respected. Indeed, trashed.
And the percussive retribution for that sensitivity is alive as my soul tediously senses times of my life slowly negated - the good, the bad, the hopes of tomorrows unlived, unloved.
Sometimes being cool aint nuthin' but being cold.
