Wednesday, November 30, 2005
THE HAIL MARY BAG PART II - THE REAL DEAL!!!
OH MY GOD, THEY'RE COMIN' OUTTA THE WOODWORK....RAINA REMEMBERED THAT SHE HAD IN FACT BROUGHT THE MIRACLE BAG BACK FROM MEXICO LAST SUMMER.
HERE IT IS, SO FEAST YOUR EYES!
Saturday, November 19, 2005
THE HAIL MARY BAG
I got in from playing my solo jazz gig at The Wardell about 1am, had a beer, and watched some Charlie Rose while Di, there on the couch next to me, sweetly snored to the cadence of the Dalai Lama's responses . I woke her 'round 2 to go up to bed. But instead of going in the direction of the stairs, she, and with a perplexed look on her face, headed in exactly the opposite direction - and seemingly with purpose. I asked where she was going and in her own special way she alerted me that she was "looking for the Hail Mary Bag".
Rather cryptic, I quickly determined, which to my demented mind means I have found a gem with which I can eke as much entertainment value as is humanly possible. "What's a Hail Mary Bag?" I asked, knowing full well that the response was going to be as other worldly as the initial statement. I wasnt disappointed. She began speaking in tongues. But I pressed on until she finally gained enough consciousness to admit that she was baffled as to what a Hail Mary Bag was too. I slept soundly knowing that the statement I had written on my hand as a reminder was ripe fodder for tomorrow's blog.
This afternoon was the annual Lehigh-Lafayette college football matchup. Unfortunately, I had so much work to do to finish up the cabinets I'm building for Davio's in Philly, that I couldnt attend the game. After watching a good portion of the 1st half I determined that "time was a-wastin" and got back to work.
And then I got hungry.
When I came in from the shop there were groans coming from the couch. With about 36 seconds left in the game, Lafayette had failed to complete a critical pass on 3rd down and 10. An even more critical 4th and 10 loomed and after determining that a 54 yard field goal was out of range, the Pards decided to go for a first down.
They were probably on the 35 yard line and after the ball was snapped and the quarter back was jostled in the backfield a couple of times, Lafayettes hopes were fading fast. But out of the corner of his eye, the QB spotted his main man heading toward the end zone, and on an off foot, executed a perfect pass which was caught and brought across the line, with a 360 degree spin in the end zone winning the game and the Patriot League Championship.
The quarterback had managed to pull the winning pass, as I obviously see now, right outta the bag - The Hail Mary Bag!
I guess Di forgot she leant it to the team.
Man, am I lucky to have a wife so wise.
Go Pards!
Monday, November 14, 2005
"HO's, SLUTS, AND DANGEROUS WOMEN
I was driving to The City one day..... (sounds like the start of a joke, eh?)
But no, and at that time I brought up the fact that I was thinking of writing on this topic (originally to be what the difference between "ho's" and "sluts" was) and lo and behold, the next day, before I knew it, I found it being discussed on a blog I knew, by someone I knew, in a city I knew so well :)
The problem tho was that it didnt really address the whole issue. Seems like the girls were enjoying defining their sexuality by redifining what a Ho is to fit their new urban lifestyle experiences - all strictly empirical, of course. Illuminating and entertaining as it was, there were concepts that were left untouched. Namely, what determines whether or not a girl's a slut. And also what is the concept of a whore from the male perspective. In perusing these concepts I realized that there is a genre of woman not categorized by either and possibly a combination of both: The Dangerous Woman. I did like the new "Ho" definition - a woman who's sexually self empowered. (click title above to link to that particular blog)
An amusing thought, is that all these concepts revert back to a time when this first seriously came into play - highschool. Talkin' it up in locker rooms, on street corners, at dances, and of course, chicks in the girls' bathrooms. High drama - reputations on the line lol.
In trying to figure how I was going to present this, I decided to try to just give examples of girls behaving as some girls sometimes, some girls often, or some girls always do, and summarize in a few words how the genders react. Also as a disclaimer, I'm married now, butI've played in bands all my life and have witnessed some outlandish shit. So just because I describe it does not mean I was neccessarily a willing participant. (nor does it mean I was NOT a willing participant LOL - male ego speaking there)
Example 1: girl goes on vacation - hangs out in bar, gets drunk, finds herself in the back seat of a car goin' to town.
Determination: "Ho" (again, defined as " a sexually self empowered woman). Both males and females
Ex 2: same girl on vacation 7th night, 7th guy
Determination: if not psychologically impaired, definitely in the slut zone.
Girls just say: "Ewwww!"
No doubt that if the news gets out back home, she'll have a hard time finding a local guy to marry her. This a huge determining factor in most men: if a woman's too wild, it will cause them to fail the "Would you marry her" test. If she fails it, its graduation day! From "Ho" to "Whore".
Now the girls back at home really say: "Ewwww!"
Ex 3: College students sitting around between classes and one girl whines out "I am sooo bored" A guy sitting there responds with, "Well, why dont you blow me?" She says "OK" and a minute later they're walking out to her car to close the deal.
Determination: A Happy Ho
Ex 4: boyfriend gets caught cheating by the girlfriend and she immediately initiates group sex with her boyfriend's best friends. Never did it before. Never does it again.
Determination: One pissed off Ho - to the boyfriend: unforgivable slut
Ex5: A married woman wants to go out but her husband is working. She needs someone to go out with and when hubbie's best friend stops by, offer's to blow him right then and there if he'll go out w/her.
After 'brushing her teeth', they go out.
Determination: total slut
Ex6: Young girl drunk at a party coerced for the first time into being the bang part of a gang bang. The next morning weeping at the kitchen table realizing that in the small community she lived in, her "reputation" was blown.
Determination: Pathetic Ho. After her 3rd time doing the boyz: pathetic slut.
Other girls say: "fucking pig" (AKA Slut)
Ex 7: Young girl goes drinking and partying, decides she wants to "get it on with a few guys" - picks her posse and goes for it.
Determination: assertive, dangerous woman.
To most of the girls there viewing this: "fucking pig" To some: "Hmmmm, ballsy..."
Chris Rock had a routine which went like this: guy sees his buddy's girlfriend, says gee when I find a girl, I want someone just like her. But when a woman sees her girlfriend's man she says, I want to have HIM, and I'm gonna GET him!
This brings up the concept of the Dangerous Woman. This type of woman is the type that both men and women can feel intimidated by because these are women who're quite aggressive sexually. The old country song that says "please dont take my man, just because you can" kinda puts it in perspective. Dangerous Wimmenz are not conditioned by social convention and are willing and likely to take risks in order to get what and who they want. Many strippers, while "putting themselves thru college", if not waylaid into prostitution, probably fit into this category. On the extreme edge of DW's, I've seen women who were considered dangerous simply because they let it be known that they held the slut card and if provoked, they'd play it. And that's usually enough to make either gender reflect. What can be very entertaining tho, especially if you're not a participant, is when two Dangerous Women go head to head.
Now sluts'll make a dangerous woman look bad because, even tho they may represent the positive quality of independent spirit, they take it to the next level by building their freedom on other peoples backs (as well as their own). And I think that when you determine what defines a slut, it has a large connection with the fact that they generally have concern for neither men, women, or themselves. It reminds me pretty strongly of the sociopathic personality. In fact, they'd probably make great CEO's!
Well, now that I've kind of delved into this, I can see why the well defined slut wasnt really examined more in depth in last year's blog. It's a nasty, hard bunch of chicks who make up this portion of society's underbelly. In conclusion I need to add that it appears that the one quality which seems to identify someone as being a slut (unless you're crazy), is plain simple heartlessness. Not fickle, but cruel, and the crueler you are, the more it seems likely you're gonna be labeled a slut - regardless of which gender's doing the calling.
So in review, I can only hope that the girls who did the last blog concerning ho's etc, never have to deal with the breadth of experiences which would enable them to describe in detail this rough reality of womanhood.
Now the other side of this subject that's opened up next is, of course, the guys who are the "ho's, sluts and dangerous men" LOL Another blog, Another time
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
A GOOD JOKE
George Bush has started an ill-timed and disastrous war under false pretenses by lying to the American people and to the Congress; he has run a budget surplus into a severe deficit; he has consistently and unconscionably favored the wealthy and corporations over the rights and needs of the population; he has destroyed trust and confidence in, and good will toward, the United States around the globe; he has ignored global warming, to the world's detriment; he has wantonly broken our treaty obligations; he has condoned torture of prisoners;he has attempted to create a theocracy in the United States; he has appointed incompetent cronies to positions of vital national importance...
Would someone please give him a blow job so we can impeach him?
Sure it's Shameless Self Promotion, but also check my blog for Thursday, September 08, 2005
"GEEE DUBBLYA vs THE BLOW JOB"
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
GITTIN' OOOLD
The primary indicator that you’ve lost your youth is, obviously, acting old. But the tricky part is that you may be only 25 years of age, and still old.
Luckily, youth is an impetuous thing - and it sometimes will resurrect itself years after you've turned old. Thank goodness for resurrection for those still too young to be old. And what a beautiful experience it is for someone who just looks like they're not young anymore.
The culprit is taking yourself too seriously.
Getting up early for work, working hard all day, coming home and cooking, cleaning, and bathing many children can really contribute to being unable to be too spirited. If you keep your core beliefs though, there’s still a possibility for joy in your life. But when your job gets to be more important than your life, be careful, because your spirit is under siege.
Fortunately, people generally exhibit behaviors that are gentle reminders to help make them aware they’re heading in what can be an unhealthy direction.
A real good one is when your passions become annoying.
Example: You know you love to play music – you have a new song in your head that you want to figure out and record. But you’re in a pissy mood for the 4th time this week. “What’s on TV?” you feebly mumble to yourself. “Oh good, a rerun of the American Idol episode with all the goofy asses” which you just watched 3 days ago. After an Idol hour and 2 beers later, you remember you were gonna go to the gym too. “Fuck that, I’m tired of working out – it’s winter anyway - summer is eons away” And the TV rants on - rants on just loud enough to drown out the small voice calling to you to come out and play.
Believing in who you are is critically different than taking yourself seriously. Taking yourself seriously generally takes place after you’ve stopped believing/pursuing your passions.
When what you are isnt in touch with who you are, is when you begin to compensate by telling yourself that what you arent is more important than who you are.
Old age has struck. Joy will quickly dissipate now.
I realized when I used to hire a lot of people to work for me years ago, that the people most likely to stick around were the people who were willing to trade their identity for their security. But the price of their security was their person-ality. The biggest pains in the ass were the people with dreams - also the people I generally missed the most.
Joy is not secure and security is not joy. It has it’s own price. And it ain't cheap. Because, although the job you choose may be, as my Mom used to say, what you hate to do least, I believe that the joy you reap is commensurate with the courage that is required from yourself to accomplish whatever.
Call me scared, but I know at the end of the road it's only your courage that allows you to look back and say “Thank God I did that!”
Yeah, its too scary to think what sad sorta rationalization you'd have to feed yourself if you'd actually turned that little voice off.
